Log In

ghostemane's Recent Posts

29 Mar 2020, 10:00 pm
in i don't know what to do anymore (go to post)
i recently got laid off from my job due to corona and i was one of the only people in my family making any income. so not only now can we barely afford to eat, but the money that we do have, my family is wasting on alcohol and there's nothing i can do to stop it.

on top of that we received an eviction notice for having my cat, who's my best and my only friend. and we have nowhere else to go. so it looks like i'm going to lose my only friend and my emotional support or be forced to live in the streets.

my best friend won't talk to me. i tried to address it and tell her it made me feel shitty that she always ignores me or replies to me with a "dfkgdfkjh" or a "lol" or a "aw man that sucks" and she was dismissive of me. then she turned around and talked about me poorly behind my back to a group of people who already demonize me and made it look as if i was mean or did something abhorrent to her. my other friend told me she spoke to her for me and tried to ask her if she could just shoot me a message or something to check in on me but she refused to do it.

all of this combined caused me to have a complete mental breakdown and i threw my phone into a wall because i was angry and it was in my hand and it just sorta happened. and now it's totally broken. it won't even turn on. i lost 4 years worth of pictures along with it because my icloud was never properly set up.

because of my breakdown and stuff my entire family is mad at me, which is fair. i'd be mad at me too. i've literally gone insane i think. i've asked my family for months to make me appointments so i can see a doctor or a psychologist and figure out what's wrong with me but they just won't do it. and i'm getting ready toa ccept the fact i'm gonna suffer like this for the rest of my life. :))

i've literally lost everything i had these past 24 hours and i don't even know what to do. i've just been sitting in bed for the last 4 hours staring at the ceiling because at this point i'm convinced if i open my mouth i'm just going to fuck shit up even more than i already have.

i'm just spiraling down so fast i'm not the person i used to be and i hate it so much. i just wanna hit a big undo button and make the last month of my life go away so i can retry it and attempt to not fuck it up as badly as i have.

and it's gotten to the point to where the only place i feel safe enough to vent is a furry pet site where nobody probably even cares.
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
29 Mar 2020, 9:46 pm
in selling characters [emergency] (go to post)
x
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
27 Mar 2020, 4:12 pm
in ♡ CinnaBunnies ♡ Discord Server (16+) (go to post)
hey i'd love to join ^^
just a heads up the invite is invalid Relic
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
27 Mar 2020, 8:46 am
in Animal Jam (go to post)
oooh thanks for postin this i haven't played in a hot minute i think i'll go back and check it out !!
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
25 Mar 2020, 5:27 am
in YCH chibi shop! (closed) (go to post)
Toxicblue aww he looks super cute thanks so much. i'll send the fc in a moment.
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
24 Mar 2020, 2:00 pm
in Shomit Adopt(open)USD/FD/FC (go to post)
these guys are cuties!
do you have any more info about them? i might be interested if you do! the last one's super cute.
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
23 Mar 2020, 6:04 am
in YCH chibi shop! (closed) (go to post)
can i claim a slot of him? i'll be paying in fc if that's alright ^
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
20 Mar 2020, 4:40 pm (Edited 20 Mar 2020, 4:40 pm)
in Art shop! (I accept anything but real money lol) (go to post)
can i get a feral fullbody of him? i'll pay in fc
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
19 Mar 2020, 5:53 am
in Please spam me with your pets so I calm down (go to post)
this is hunter :))

LosqLZh.jpgp

NPbnc8l.jpg

Gmqi3Ja.jpg
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
17 Mar 2020, 10:42 am
in ✧ chibi premades & customs ✧ (go to post)
bump
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
17 Mar 2020, 1:21 am
in Seaside Commissions(CLOSED) (go to post)
may i be added to the pinglist please?
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
15 Mar 2020, 7:25 pm
in ✧ chibi premades & customs ✧ (go to post)
bump
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
15 Mar 2020, 4:55 pm
in My Dad Just Got Into An Argument W/ My Grandpa (go to post)
i'm sorry dude, hearing family fighting is always tough. growing up my family was always fighting on and off like that and it was hella awkward and scary. i know you made this thread a few hours ago, so i hope you're feeling better by now, but if not, here's a cute possum gif to cheer you up! i'm assuming you like them based off of your pfp. ^_^

tumblr_okcncg6xgF1spy7ono1_400.gif
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
14 Mar 2020, 10:18 pm
in sellin' some cute painties ! (savin 4 a gembound) (go to post)
sure thing i'll send a trade in a sec
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
14 Mar 2020, 9:42 pm
in ✧ chibi premades & customs ✧ (go to post)
bump
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
14 Mar 2020, 8:56 pm
in [s] Painties, gore warning (go to post)
Steampunk_Llama may i buy redacted in fc please?
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
14 Mar 2020, 8:55 pm
in sellin' some cute painties ! (savin 4 a gembound) (go to post)
bump
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
14 Mar 2020, 5:39 pm
in [S] paintie ticket & other c00l stuff (go to post)
.
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
14 Mar 2020, 5:35 pm
in i need to rant for a second (go to post)
i have a really specific style of clothing that i wear. usually all black, chains on my pants, eyelet belts, rings; and the one that makes everybody mad... eyeliner. it's a bit of a habit i picked up when i was about 15, where i started wearing a bit of eyeliner under my eye just because i wanted to experiment with makeup and see if it made me feel any better about myself. but it morphed into me doing it every day. and then i started to draw a lil cross underneath my eye too. sometimes i'll draw it normally, then sometimes upside down. there's no specific reason behind it, and i mean no disrespect to anyone by doing it. i just really like it and i think it looks nice and a bit more appropriate on me than say drawing a star or a heart or something. i also have a penchant for dying my hair weird colors because it's fun! i've tried every color under the sun at this point (pink, purple, red, black, yellow even) but right now it's blue and i love it. i did it myself and i'm so happy with how it came out.

my mom and my brother who i live with have always had no problems with me dressing the way i do and my mum actually has had me do her makeup for her on several occasions because i'm naturally good at it (go figure).

i can usually handle the weird looks and the weird comments from strangers. i mean, fuck, it's actually kinda funny sometimes. but lately it's just been bothering me a lot.

with everything happening lately in the country and all of the troubles people have been having i've been going a bit out of my way to be kind to people. i've been going through my own problems mentally and nothing cheers me up more than being social and trying to make other people smile. so, after i did my shopping the other day i offered a woman some help carrying some things to her car. she had a lot and it looked like she was struggling so i figured she might like some help. and she just looked at me, shook her head and looked at me in disgust without saying a word before she walked off really fast. which, normally wouldn't have hurt my feelings, i'm used to people looking at me weirdly. for a long time i never really considered myself to be intimidating. i'm quite tall but i'm not the tallest in my family by far (i'm 6'1 and my brother's nearly 6'5 so i never really thought of myself as giant) and i'm just naturally skinny and just always thought i looked awkward. but... never intimidating or scary. but apparently i was wrong. i felt really bad about it. i was just trying to be nice and offer her some help and i made her so uncomfortable that she stormed away from me.

but, what bothered me was something my grandmother pointed out the other day.

me and my grandmother have always been really close. i spent a lot of time there on the weekends as a kid and she was my best friend for a long time. my friends always gave me shit for it but, hell, i loved her more than anyone in the world. over the years we did drift apart a bit but i still see her once a week and we go out and i help her with her errands and grocery shopping since she has a hard time doing it on her own, and in return she lets me borrow her car.

well, the other day i came out wearing what i usually wear when i'm with her. (all black, chains, eyeliner, whatever else i feel like wearing that day, etc.) and things were fine. we went out and stopped at starbucks to get coffees like we always do. and then we headed to the grocery store. she hadn't said a single word about my clothes or my makeup or hair. but then when we pulled up to the grocery store she began telling me that i needed to put my jacket on to cover my shirt (for reference it's just an all black shirt that says slipknot in red. i've worn it 100 times with her before with no comments.) and take the chains off of my pants. now, it was 65 degrees that day. i run hot and don't even wear a coat in the winter time unless it's below 25 degrees. i shrugged and just told her i didn't want to wear my coat so i got out of the car. she then looked at me and told me that i was "deliberately defying her".

i tried to nicely explain to her that i would sweat if i put a coat on and that i couldn't take the chains off of my pants because one is attached to my wallet and the other is attached to my phone. after that she got really mad and started saying that i was embarrassing her and saying things like "i go to this store 5 times a week. i don't want the employees to see my grandson looking like that. it's embarrassing for me. do you see any other boys your age dressing like that? i thought you'd grow out of the hair color thing by this point." i tried to tell her that it was just my personal preference and that i understand that it's not exactly a normal way to dress and present myself but i still enjoyed it. she then went on and called me selfish and said i need to think about HER feelings... while she sat there and berated me. i still can't fathom the fact an actual quote that came from her was "why are you being so selfish? do you only care about yourself? what about my feelings? do you not stop to consider that this is embarrassing for me?" and she said she wished i would dress more masculine and be more like my brother.

i don't know what happened. normally she'd even go as far as to compliment my outfit or my hair. she's never acted like that towards me. and i think... somebody else in our family might have spoken to her. the majority of my family from my mother's side doesn't like me at all. they'll go out of their way to badmouth me and make me feel like garbage. and it just... really bothers me. i don't know why she'd flip overnight and start acting the way she is. i've been going through a lot mentally and this was just the icing on the cake i suppose.

when i got home i broke down and literally cried. which is hella pathetic, i know.

but fuck sorry this is long. i just needed to b-word (bro why does it not let u say it?) about it somewhere and i guess a furry pet site is the only place i have left to go.
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
12 Mar 2020, 6:59 am
in Ship your villager with a villager above you! (go to post)
Notion anomaly x nyla
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
12 Mar 2020, 6:52 am
in Tips for fixing Joycon Drift? (go to post)
alcohol has always helped me with my remotes when they get stuck. i've been fixing the same xbox remote for years with that method just because i get attached to certain things and don't like getting new ones even if they look and function the same. rubbing alcohol is super cheap, or just using a bit of straight-up drinking alcohol works too (just obviously not something fruity because it's sticky).

but as others have said if nintendo will fix it for free/low price i'd just send it in. i'm generally pretty good at fixing my own consoles/remotes and stuff myself. but when it comes to nintendo, boy it stumps me. i managed to deconstruct my xbox and pretty much rebuild it to fix one tiny thing myself, but i tried to fix my sister's wii and somehow made it worse q-q;. this was a few years ago, but i ended up just paying myself to send it in and fix it because i felt bad for screwing it up more, but it was super cheap and under 40$ if i remember right.
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
11 Mar 2020, 6:19 pm
in can someone help me come up w/ a username (go to post)
thank u guys!! i really like satansvocalist so i think i might go w/ that one. i'll send you over a small reward in a bit as a thank u for helping me KilljoyLights !
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
11 Mar 2020, 5:28 pm
in selling paintied villagers + chars (FC/FD/art) (go to post)
yep that's me ^^ sending it now, thank u.
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
11 Mar 2020, 3:43 pm
in selling paintied villagers + chars (FC/FD/art) (go to post)
cr0ws may i buy hex for the fc?
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.
10 Mar 2020, 5:46 pm
in [S] paintie ticket & other c00l stuff (go to post)
.
tyler || he/him || bi
tumblr_pkfxogD4mB1u7lugjo6_400.gifv
you picked a dance with the devil and you lucked out.