Villager: Captain Southpaw
Name: Captain Southpaw
Born 5 months, 5 days ago
Career: Construction Worker
House: Oceandome House (250/250)
Career (View All)
Captain Southpaw looks stunning!
Captain Southpaw's very special treasures!
Career: Construction Worker (formerly a pirate captain)
Favorite Color(s): monochrome
Likes: treasure, minipets, sailing, fencing, sea shanties, drinking, and sunbathing
Dislikes: traitors, splinters, sunburns, being away from the ocean, thieves (ironically), and village law enforcement
Favorite Food: Foxitos
Hated Food: Pawpurroni Pizza
Other: Omnivore, Toyhouse
To your surprise, you see a fox in a pirate outfit exiting Sora's house with a bunch of supplies, a parrot with a little pirate hat on its head perched on the fox’s shoulder. Now, this could be one of two things - either there's a pirate villager doing his job, or the leodon is being robbed. You decide it's better to be safe than sorry and approach the fox.
"What? Do I have sommat on my face?"
"Oh, for crying out- no, I ain't stealin' anything. That life got left behind the moment the sirens caught sight of my ship."
"You want to know, don't you. Oh, why not - it's not like I owe them any favors. Hah!"
The fox spits onto the ground - sensibly away from the dual roads - before turning his attention to you.
"The name's Southpaw, and me feathered friend here be Ratchet.”
“Ahoy, landlubber!” The parrot chirps from the fox’s shoulder. Southpaw smirks at your startled expression.
“Ratchet here be smarter than he looks; he can talk as well as you an’ me rather than just parroting what ‘e hears. Anyway, I was the captain of the finest pirate ship to ever sail the seas, the Gimlet Ruby. Ah, those were the days. Me an' the crew plundered many a town and dredged up many an ancient treasure from the depths of the sea. We outran Olde Foxbury and Dragon's Maw Manor law enforcement alike, and my fair ship was more than a match for even Oceandome's finest vessels."
"But alas, all good things come to an end, and greed gets even the best of us. I had rules, you see; limitations on what we could and couldn't do. It only made sense; the truly lawless, bloodthirsty pirates met with naught but relentless pursuit and grisly ends. That was no way to live a life. I made sure we were nuisances only, crooks to be chased off fer sure, but not a priority for a manhunt. We don' kill them, they don' kill us. It's as simple as that."
"What's that have to do with sirens, you ask. Well, my traitorous first mate - my brother in all but blood! - staged a mutiny, an' the only reason why he got me loyal crew to agree to back him was 'cause he'd convinced them that there was this rare treasure I was hiddin' from em, way on this island in the Aqualis Sea. Now, he weren't wrong - there really was such a treasure, we both saw it with our own peepers. But y'see, the thing is, that that there treasure is guarded by all sorts of nasty beasts straight outta fairy tales. And of course it is; I mean, what kind of treasure doesn't include death traps, temples, and monsters, aye?"
"We know this 'cause we were there, when we were nothin' but swabbies. Our old captain took 'is whole crew to the island after the treasure; we were the only two who made it out. We both swore that day to never tell another soul where that cursed island was. But seems my first mate just couldn' let it go, and convinced my crew I was too much of a coward to let 'em at it."
"So there I was, tied to the mast of me own ship as my traitorous brother in arms steered us to our doom. And to our doom we went - that island had not sat idle for fifteen years. A pack of sea witches 'ad settled into the cliffs, and we sailed right into their clutches. The sirens sang, and almost everyone was enthralled. The lasses on deck certainly weren't, and neither was I - that's one good thing about being gay, the sirens hold no power over me."
"Yes, I'm a gay pirate captain. Ya got a problem with that? No? Good."
"Anyways, the Gimlet Ruby wrecking against the cliffs freed me, but at that point it was too late. The sirens were feastin' on my crew; the lasses and I did our best, but we were outnumbered and outmatched. Last thing I remember was being knocked over into a piece of the mast an' striking my skull on the blasted thing, and then the next thing I know, I was wakin' up on the back of a sea serpent."
Southpaw looks you dead in the eyes at this.
"Do you 'ave any idea how terrifying it is to wake on the back of a sea serpent, landlubber? I thought I was dead meat fer sure!"
The pirate chuckles, amused at the memory of his past terror.
'But no, it was naught but Jörmungandr, comin' home from a day of explorin'. He'd found me floatin' on the piece of mast an' decided I was best served comin' home with 'im. He was right."
"So that's my tale, landlubber. I 'ave no crew or ship to my name, and don't desire one either. My crew were like me brothers and sisters, and there's no joy in sailin' without 'em. Save my first mate, that bovine can rot in the belly of the siren that took 'im. 'S why I ain't workin' on the Singing Tide; she ain't my girl, and I ain't her captain."
Southpaw just gives you a deadpan stare in response to your question of where this treasure island is located. You couldn't help yourself; you just had to ask.
"No. No, I ain't ever givin' out the location of that there island. Plenny enough people 'ave died there, I ain't addin' one more."
"You wanna know why I'm a construction worker? Well, I needed somethin' to do with my paws here, an' buildin' houses ain't all that different to makin' repairs to the ship."
"Nah, I ain't worried 'bout no one turnin' me in. Oceandome law enforcement don't usually come this far, and when they do I stay inside. I ain't in the business of plunderin' anymore, I got no quarrel with them. Or the desire to see the inside of a cell, fer that matter. So long as I don' show my mug, they don' care overmuch 'bout huntin' me down."
"Oh, I ain't worried about you tellin' either."
Southpaw grins, his single golden tooth glinting in the sunlight.
"Ya ever wonder why no pirate base set up on an island's been littered on? Oh sure, it mighta been a little messy, but littered? Naw. Ain't no pirate base 'as ever bin covered in trash. An' ya wanna know why?"
Southpaw turns to the side before jabbing a thumb over at Ouroboros, who is discussing something with Arya and Kiara in front of the village greenhouse not too far from where you stand.
"They're why. We ain't idiots; we want booty an' plunder, not earthquakes and lava flows. Nobody sane gets an island spirit mad at ya. And Ouroboros here, well, he considers every soul livin' here as one o' his, an' he'd be mighty mad if ya got one of 'em hauled off."
"Anywho, as much fun as it was jawin' with ya, I got places to be. Mayhaps I'll see ye around in the near future. Fare thee well, landlubber."
Ratchet chirped again. “Awwwk! Goodbye landlubber!”