Wardrobe

Villager: Zatarin Ezigark

The buck's ears flick several times, as he ascertains whether or not Zatarin has perhaps addled himself in the fall. Killian laughed at what he took as a joke, politely covering his mouth with one hoof.
"I think the trees are getting you back for those fliers the other day." He hesitantly approached, removing his staff from his back and trying to use leverage to get the branch off.
"I'll write the tree a citation once you're upright." Killian huffed, still laughing. It appeared he was having a little success, though the branch still appeared a bit too heavy for him.

"If I can get it up farther, could you roll over? At least onto your side?" He asked, digging his hooves into the ground and trying once more to heft the branch off.
"I'd hate to leave you and fetch an axe - I don't have any road flares to put down."

Killian tilted his head almost all the way to the side, his ears flicking. The buck laughed at the strange pose, though he did look very slightly impressed. He opened his mouth to inquire as to how such a thing was possible - but was interrupted.
"Its. I..." Again, he was cut off before he could speak, but this time by the cracking of a branch. The entire bough came crashing down - Zatarin along with it. The buck flinched and covered his muzzle with his hooves.

He stared for a long moment, before lowering them. "Are... are you alright?" Killian looked incredibly... confused. And concerned.
"I mean. I'm sure you are. Uh." The buck blinked several times, and coughed, awkwardly. "... is this... happening?"

Killian blinked, before turning to look at Zatarin, eyes still wide. It's not clear if this is a species-wide reflex or simply just a reference to a phrase in an alternate reality. He slowly looked down at his arm, as though it was taking him quite some time to process what had happened.
"... is this... some form of courtship ritual?" The buck asked, raising an eyebrow. He appears serious though he could just be incredibly good at bluffing.
"I'm flattered by your advance, but I must politely decline..."

Killian's mouth twitched into the barest hint of a smile as Zatarin approached. He remained in the tree, as if he wasn't fussed about the saggitauri (?) approaching.
"I never said I thought you were stupid. Projecting much?" Killian asked, canting his head to the side slightly.
"It must surprise you to know that you are the only one to practice such misconduct warranting a light warning." He paused, and for the first time looked confused. "You think it's fancy?" The slip was quickly covered, and he shook his head.

"I have no use for bladed weapons. Though I suppose I should have guessed the sword meant nothing to you - it wasn't as if you had taken care of it. Should you find it again, you may consider donating it, perhaps someone who actually needs it would benefit more." The buck hummed thoughtfully, before glancing down at Zatarin again.
"Bok bok." He laughed, before standing up. "Don't let it go to your head, however. I assure you, if it gets any bigger, you will need a harness to hold it up!" In a flash of blinding blue light, the buck was gone. Chicken indeed.

Killian stilled, but whether this was from fright or due to years of training - it would be impossible to tell. The only tell was that he wrinkled his nose at the stink that had suddenly wafted up to meet him.
"Please, no need to flatter yourself unnecessarily." The buck canted his head slowly, though not enough to tangle his horns in the nearby branches. "I often come here to meditate - not that I would expect you to know what that is." He remained in the trees, before gesturing to the posters.

"However, if you wanted my attention so badly, you could have at least spared those poor trees." The buck smiled wryly. "I take it you greatly appreciated the proper care given to the weapon you left with me. You really ought to take better care of your things."

<How else do you think Killian managed to get those feathers? He sits up in a nearby oak, watching Zatarin stomp around and hammer random signs to various trees (vandalism, disturbing the peace) with something of a shit-eating grin. Apparently, this was exactly what the young buck was looking for. He would cackle evilly if not for his most noble position and duty. Instead he just watches, with some sort of sadistic glee.>

<The mysterious pamphlets continue to appear. Why? Who knows! Eventually a very odd-looking weapon appears in Zatarin's mailbox. Upon closer inspection it's just the sword from before, properly cleaned and sharpened.>

<The sword is not returned, but somehow the pamphlets occasionally pop up on all of the nearest community boards Zatarin passes.>

<A piece of paper appears near Zatarin's person. Upon closer inspection, it is a pamphlet that reads 'Need help quitting smoking?'. It's several coupons for things people would typically use to 'kick the habit'>

"Zatarin, huh? That's a good name. My kids would love it." He shook his head slowly, smile still in place. "Oh, no worries. I'll only remember you because I'll probably tell my boys and they'll proceed to name every toy after you..." There was a moment where Lexi's smile turned wry, as if imagining said toys already. At the mention of Killian, he laughed along, placing a paw over his heart. "Hah! I'd pay to see that, honestly. If he gives you any guff about it, just tell him you have explicit permission to give him a swift kick."

"Ah, yeah. If I were a younger man, I'd tend to agree... but I woke up at the asscrack of dawn this morning and will have to do the same tomorrow." He placed his paws into his jacket pockets and nodded. "I can handle myself, I think. I'm more durable than I look." Lexi snorted, once again glancing after the buck. "Yeah, he's certainly a handful. Ah, well. I suppose it could be worse." There was a slight pause, before Lexi beamed up at Zatarin. "You have a good night, 'Zat. Maybe I'll see you around."